Merely 6 months ago, I sucked at dealing with toxic people. One snide comment from such person would trigger a dip in my emotional status which would last for hours. I would hold grudges and burn away in anger. It would be completely dishonest of me to claim I no longer feel those, but I can safely say 9 times out of 10 I am unaffected. (I am only human after all). How do I do it you ask? Read on!

First things first, I absolutely agree that handling toxicity is a tough grind, but never resolve to physical or verbal violence. Never stoop that low. I found an informative book by Dr. Lillian Glass viz: Toxic People: 10 Ways Of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable, discusses an ‘unplug’ method. This is my version of the method. By my version I mean, I tweaked the method to my needs.

Set clear boundaries, ensure to make it clear that interference into your business will not be tolerated. Manipulators use information coming from you against you, for their benefit, hence limit your communication to just what is needed. That does not mean you be rude to them. You can be nice, not too nice. Every so often a smile or silence are the best response.

Having a great mental space is essential when day in and day out you are dealing with a toxic person (Be it work-space or home). I have met people with insecurities, who feel good by putting others down or by provoking them. Save a mental picture or a memory which makes you happy within reach and use them when you feel low or egged. This tack works well when I want to control my outbursts.

Steer clear of them. Even after using the above two methods, I personally like to keep away from them. It’s a no brainer that their negative energy can affect you. Have you ever felt free, full of energy and relieved in the absence of a particular person? Or felt like you cannot tolerate their voice or touch? That’s the person we are talking about.

Yes, overall, it is an unpleasant experience, it takes time to see the results of your efforts. However, I implore you to be persistent. As in the process I learned to stand up for myself, to be independent than I ever imagined to be, established that self-evaluation is imperative and stopped over thinking. I hope you also reap many sweet fruits. Let me also add that everyone should be given a second chance as people are capable of change. Only if you are willing to and not at the cost of your well-being.

PS: If anything costs your mental peace it must go far away from you.

PPS: Amazon Link to Dr. Lillian Glass’s book mentioned above is here.