Let us begin with a little story. Recently, we were invited to a house warming celebration of my husband’s relative. The owners had a son, only child. His mother asked me him to take the guests on a house tour. On the tour were I and a couple of his older cousins (in their late 30’s). The boy was excited and we reached the first floor of the house, he dashed to show us his room first. This was spacious well-lit and had all the necessities including a double sized bed. Immediately his cousins started to make fun of him saying he will not actually be using this room; it will later be converted in to a guest room. This went on for a while and he took it easily. Next on tour was master bedroom, a bigger room and bigger bed. His cousins were at it again saying this is where he will be sleeping, next to his mommy, tone of the sentence was provocative, boy had had enough and left the room without a smile. His cousins were left standing in the middle of the tour disconcerted.

That act of standing up for one self, my reader, is what we are not taught as a child. We are taught to smile, nod, obey and respect elders, as they are wiser than you. I want to put this forward; age does not guarantee wisdom. Experiences, willingness and to learn do. Do not get me wrong. I am not against all elderly. All I am saying is one should know not to take non-sense from anyone, especially if you are not at fault be it older or younger to you. Also maintain your dignity regarding how you react to them. With time I understood that starting an argument (with some people) does nothing but lower you to their level, also you are making sure to hand them weapons to get back at you. So, I never do that. As a saying goes ‘every word has its consequences, every silence too.’

But never hesitate to draw boundaries and to let them know that you are unhappy with their words or actions. Because, some people do not think about the result of their doings. But that does not mean we let our self be affected. I cannot stress enough how vital it is to keep our mental health good. And as per my experience standing up for myself has been one of the best ways to deal with elements that threaten my mental space. So, in conclusion, below three are the tips to stand up for yourself (and to stay strong):

1: If you are not at fault, stick to your guns and be confident.

2: State clearly that you are not happy with them or stop engaging (saying no is not a bad thing).

3: Take small but powerful actions and repeat them to draw a line.

Until next time.